'45 Things That Make You Feel Bad' by Jeff Gavin

No one ever reads this great blog by Jeff Gavin (no relation).... except for me. So I thought I would post one of his funniest items. Enjoy.

1. Falling in a manhole
2. Punching your face till it hurts
3. Being sprayed with cold water
4. Being shot at the supermarket
5. Not having eyes
6. Getting mail... full of anthrax
7. Taking a nap on a busy road
8. Hearing that your favorite song doesn't exist
9. Lying in the rain outside
10. Really hot towels fresh from the oven
11. Chocolate milkshake poured on head
12. Eating soap
13. Whooping cough
14. A good conversation with a frenchman
15. A beached whale
16. Finding a bloody finger in your coat from last winter
17. Laughing at a one-legged dog
18. Poison
19. Midnight vampire fights
20. Sprinklers running through you
21. Laughing to stay alive
22. Having someone tell you to cover your face
23. Laughing at a person caught in a cement mixer
24. Ugly Friends
25. Accidentally overhearing that your dog died
26. Waking up and realizing you only have a few hours left to live
27. Your first kick in the kidney (either the very first or with a new partner)
28. Making mud pies and having to eat them
29. Not kicking a new puppy
30. Having some play with your hare, without asking
31. Bitter acorns
32. Cold brisket
33. When the road is your only friend
34. Swings swinging on you
35. When a cute stranger gleeks in your eye
36. Being a chocolate chip cookie for Halloween
37. When your friends get to live in a house made of cookies
38. Holding hands with Edward Scissorhands
39. Running into an old friend going 60 miles an hour
40. Watching someone throwup when the recieve a present from you
41. Watching the sun eat your mom
42. Not being able to get out of bed
43. Knowing that you're wanted in 51 states
44. Getting the measles from someone you don't like
45. The fear of not knowing