IRS Joke
The IRS decides to audit Rick, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Rick shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, and you explain this by claiming that you win money gambling. Simply put, the IRS does not find that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Rick. "How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "OK. You’re on."
Rick says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
Rick removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Rick says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
The auditor can tell Rick isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Rick removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Rick's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Rick asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Rick stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
Rick's attorney, however, moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when my client told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."
Got this joke in an email from Siloca Sneek
Labels: jokes
posted on Wednesday, April 18, 2007
8 comments
8 Comments:
Not funny. Ever seen the movie Desperado? This joke is a straight out rip-off from that movie and much better told by Quinton. Go get it, watch it, and love it. - Gabriel
No. you are flat wrong. Quinton [sic] actually built a time machine, travelled into the future and ripped this joke off from my friend and put it in his silly 'Desperado'. Thems are the facts!
I heard that people that insert [sic]after the word Quinton will die of anal fissures.
i don't care where it came from - it was totally funny and made my day much cheerier. so cheerio.
I laughed so hard I cried, but now I stopped, really funny though!
I like this version better than the Desperado one because i hate the IRS
massive rip-off..
the only thing shitter than that joke, was nontalk's, "Quinton [sic] actually built a time machine, travelled into the future and ripped this joke off from my friend and put it in his silly 'Desperado'. Thems are the facts!"
Grab a gun, and fuckn die moron.
Oh my goodness. The anonymous poster above has a really really good point. I posted a "massive rip-off". I don't think I can ever live under that shame. I deserve the fate that "anonymous" has prescribed. I mean, he/she/it is SOOO right. How could I do something like this? And then.. to make things worse, I made a stupid joke about Quinton [sic] and a time machine....Ohhh the shame! Woe is me! I am not worthy... AAUUGH.....
Post a Comment
<< Home