List of Scientific Tests to Conduct while I am in Ireland
- Determine whether the grass in Ireland is truly green, or whether it is really red but the government has spent billions of euro developing special contact lenses which change the color of the red grass to appear as green grass, which they forcibly install in every person's eyes when they are either born in the country or enter the country.
- Determine whether or not humans become humans immortal after drinking Leprechaun blood.
- Test whether or not matches work in Ireland.
- Determine whether the average mood of the Irish person falls between "Really Upset" and "Annoyed".
- Test whether the rotation of the earth is affected if every person human in Ireland takes a deep breath at the same time.
posted on Wednesday, November 16, 2005
7 comments
7 Comments:
1. Nope, the grasses here are greener. That's a whole other color mind you.
2. Nope, they just make us better in ways you can never imagine.
3. Nope, we use our psionic powers to make fire whenever we need it (didn't I tell you we are better?)
4. Yes, usually gravitating more towards "Annoyed". Why? because the rest of the world is so much worse than us.
5. Nope. Absolutely not, tested tried and true.
Jesse-
Could you please test to see if there are leprechaun vampires? I have had a feeling for quite a while that there are, but could you confirm that? This would make drinking leprachaun blood a riskier business than usual. You would want to make sure you were not drinking the blood of a leprechaun vampire instead of a normal leprechaun. Also, be sure you slay a leprechaun to drink his blood and not a midget or child.
Jess,
Speaking of the blood of children, I was wondering if you could "sneak" some blood out of newborn Irish babies while you are there. Just "accidentally" bump into some young women carrying newborn babies with a needle in your hand. That way you could test to see if newborn Irish babies are born with a high blood alcohol content or it must be developed as they drink whisky...the whole nature versus nurture question from an Irish angle.
I think the new concensus is that it is nature VIA nurture. Their propensity for loving booze is nurtured by drinking booze. Also, can you bring some booze home? All this talk about booze is making me thirsty. I guess I'm like a chocoholic, but for booze.
I think another interesting test would be to find out if there are really no snakes in Ireland. They say that St. Patrick drove them out, but what if the vamp-leps saved the snakes from unfortunate deaths and them put them in the pot of gold for some unsuspecting treasure hunter to find at the end of the rainbow.
Also, these vamp-leps do exhibit a few curious signs (rainbows, shiny belt buckles, fashionable hats) and I am wondering if they are...well... I mean they like rainbows. Everyone knows what the rainbow symbolizes.
The rainbow symbolizes a pot of gold, right?
Jesse,
Now that you have returned from "the Ireland," could you tell us what you found out regarding these scientific tests?
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